I can’t believe you only work for 40 hours a week, it’s like you don’t even want to make money. I’m on the grind right now. You should see my bank account, you’d be so jealous. I can buy whatever I want if I ever have time to get to the store.

Oh you’re concerned about rent? I’m paying $4,000 for a nice apartment in the Financial District and it’s no sweat at all. Yeah I mean it’s still a studio but it’s 100 more sq ft. than yours and I’m right in the heart of everything.

Psh you take the subway? That’s what you get for not getting a side hustle. I Uber everywhere. And forget about ride sharing, I get my own every time. $20 to go 5 blocks is nothing to me. Sometimes I feel like they should pay me for how much I use them, that’d be a cool way for me to make more money.

What’s that you said? Oh you went to Disney with your family last week? Nah I don’t have time for vacations, I’m out here putting in work. I got 3 jobs baby, I haven’t taken a vacation in 4 years. Free time is wasted time. You’re gonna be kicking yourself in 20 years when I’m 40 with no life experiences, family, or friends but a million dollars in my bank account and you’re still working and satisfied with the life you’ve led.

I basically did it by turning all my hobbies into side hustles. Cooking? Nah that’s a food blog. Playing guitar? That’s songs for Spotify and Souncloud. You think I’m gonna play video games if I’m not also streaming. Sure, I don’t enjoy them anymore now that they’ve all turned into work and maybe I no longer have any passions but I’m getting that bag.

I don’t mean to brag but clearly my life is so much better than yours because I’m making so much more money. You might be happy, well rested, and engaged with your life but you’re basically poor. Maybe if you’d find yourself another job you could be where I am and live a good life like me. It’s capitalism baby, I’m taking advantage of the system it’s not taking advantage of me.